Gettng Ready For Daytime Playtime

I’ve always loved holding spaces that help people come together — not just socially, but relationally. Spaces where people soften, risk a little honesty, experiment with how close or how wild they want to be, and feel met rather than managed. That impulse sits at the heart of Playful Desires, and it’s something I write about more fully on the About page and in the framing of the Caring K1nk workshops

This blog is a peek behind the scenes — into my internal process as I prepare for play parties, and specifically for Daytime Playtime on February 7th

Why I Care So Much About the Container

My own kinky journey didn’t begin in particularly conscious spaces. I found kink through desire first — intensity, novelty, charge — and only later through reflection. I’ve been in rooms where things moved too fast. Where people performed instead of listened. Where power wasn’t named clearly and responsibility felt slippery. Where afterwards you weren’t sure if you’d been fed or scraped raw.

At the other end of the spectrum I've been in spaces where the rules were too rigid and the organisers promoted a sanitised, overly sensetive version of kink that killed the creativity and permission to be raw and untamed.

I'm lucky enough to have been part of Sacred Pleasures, in the ealy 2000's - where slowness itself was erotic. Where consent felt like collaboration rather than compliance. Where being seen mattered more than being impressive. Those experiences shaped me. They taught me that freedom without care isn’t actually free. And that too much control kills aliveness just as surely as chaos does.

So when I host, I’m always dancing with a tension that doesn’t really go away:

• How do I create enough safety that people can relax?

• Without infantilising them or taking away their autonomy?

• How do I encourage responsibility without becoming a rule-enforcer?

• How do I protect vulnerability without flattening desire?

There are no perfect answers. There’s only ongoing attention.

Daytime Playtime — What We’re Creating Together

Daytime Playtime is designed as a spacious, welcoming container — a place to touch, play, rest, flirt, explore, and bring out your kinky parts within clear boundaries.

We’ll begin with a 90-minute opening workshop — about 20% of the day — because shared culture matters. It’s where we land together, name consent, attunement, pacing, and care, and introduce tools like the Wall of Offerings and Desires (in the Hall of Hedonism), where people can name curiosities without pressure.

At the time of writing, around 45 people will be there — a size that feels alive but still human.

Play might look like:

• Cuddling or chatting

• Rambunctious dancing

• Slow, sensual connection

• Dark or playful BDSM exploration

• Shame play

• Tying, holding, giggling

• Or simply resting and watching
  

There is no “right” way to play here. As long as it’s grounded in care, consent, and connection, you’re doing it right.

Assistants, Autonomy, and Shared Responsibility

This is the part I’ve sat with the most. I’ll be working with a team of assistants throughout the day. When they’re on duty, they’ll be clearly marked with high-visibility armbands. Their role is simple:

• Welcome people in

• Keep an eye on the space

• Help things run smoothly

• Help me to decorate and pack down

One thing that’s eased my nerves more than anything else has been the assistants themselves. We’ve already had two meetings together, and those conversations have genuinely shaped the event. They’ve helped me find the balance between safety and autonomy, structure and trust, presence and restraint. Not by adding more rules — but by thinking together. Naming edge cases. Sharing lived experience. Asking, “What actually helps here?”

What’s struck me most is how alive the collaboration already feels. There’s care, humour, clarity, and a shared sense that we’re not here to control people — we’re here to support a culture where people can take responsibility for themselves and each other. Honestly, it already feels beautiful with them. There’s a sense of mutual respect and ease that’s setting the tone long before the doors open. If the assistants are a microcosm of the wider gathering, then we’re in good hands.

It’s reminding me that I’m not holding this alone — and that the best containers are co-created, not imposed. They are not therapists or counsellors. They’re humans helping hold a container. The deeper intention here is shared responsibility. I want us to look out for one another. To notice. To care. To take agency — not outsource it.

Sawdust, Screws, and a St Andrew’s Cross

Alongside all the emotional and relational preparation, there’s been something grounding about working with my hands.

A client donated a St Andrew’s Cross, and I’ve been adapting it — screwing, fixing, reinforcing — with the hope that it can transform from a table into a solid, trustworthy implement for bondage and kinky play.

There’s something symbolic about that for me.

Taking something given in trust. Strengthening it. Making it safer. Turning it into something that can hold weight — literal and metaphorical. Preparing an object so that someone else can lean back, surrender a little, and feel held.

And I'm so excited for the weekend! Will you come join us?

Book here: https://playful-desires.co.uk/caring-k1nk-workshops