Welcome - I'm Neil...
Let me tell you a bit about me...
I've been kinky for as long as I can remember. At age 14 asked one of my first girlfriends to tie me up with washing line. I was very influenced by Michelle Pfeiffer playing Cat woman and various other childhood memories, including games of kiss chase in the playground. When the internet came about I was about 17 years old and suddenly my fantasies were given rocket fuel and I'm not sure this was helpful or healthy.
Skip ahead 20 years and I was trying hard to supress my kinky and playful desires, which led me to being unhappily engaged. Upon trying to open this side of me the relationship couldn't contain it and I found myself single and able to explore 'the scene' by myself. This phase I call 'kink frenzy' where I said yes to every experience going and I was particularly happy to sub (submit) to as many people as possible and engage in Shibari (rope b0ndage), worship, pain & pleasure experimentation, being tied, teased and tantalized, being locked away, taken out and played with and shamed so beautifully that I found inner joy and happiness.
It wasn't all fun and games though. I often found myself in risky situations and it was mainly by the privilege of being a strong man and sheer luck that I came through mostly unscathed. I did enter into a beautiful kinky relationship and had some of the most incredible times of my life, but I also learned the dangers of playing without safe words, lacking in communication skills and crossing my own boundaries from a lack of embodiment and not understanding the importance of safety precautions. I have many stories to tell!
Now I'm into my 40's, I've realised I'm neurodivergent (ADHD) and I worked through so many relationship issues (and gained a qualification in counselling). I now want to pass on some of the lessons but also to create inclusive environments that allow people to connect an play in a safer way, with more care, awareness and skill than I had. I often feel that the nightclubs and spaces where BDSM is available are seedy, dark and difficult to communicate in, so I want to create clean, clear, friendly spaces where communication and connection are central to the experience of play.
In short my mission is to provide safer and more joyful spaces for that helps people to rediscover their playfulness through human connection.
I do this through a curriculum of Caring Kink workshops that cover the array of BDSM activities and also running regular Daytime Playtime spaces that allow people longer to play freely together.
As I evolve and collaborate with others in this 'work' I want to incorporate dance (I teach blues and fusion partner dancing) and dating (I also run a relationship course called Building Secure Attachments). I am excited by the playful exploration and connections that are happening through this work and the community being created as we go.
If you'd like to come to a workshop or work with me one to one then click on the menu above and I look forward to meeting you.
Warm wishes
Neil
Neil's Credentials
I've committed to learning and growing continuously. I see a supervisor regularly, to help me stay present and ethical. Here is a list of the work I've done to date:
Advanced Diploma (Level 5) In Integrative, Person-Centred Counselling (Network Counselling Training) including 2 years of study and working with clients for 150 hours of real clinical sessions.(2025)
Level 4 Certificate in Integrative Counselling (1 year) at University of Southern Wales (2020)
Fooling and Voice Dialogue Training (1 week) with Christie Animus (2020-21)
Training courses with 'Art of Consent', (4 days) learning about mindfulness of touch and trauma. (2019,2020)
2-Day training in Acceptant and Commitment Therapy (ACT) London, 2020
2 Day Training to Teach 'Paws B' by Mindfulness in Schools Project, a curriculum for 7-12 year old children to learn mindfulness. (MISP) London, 2019
Qualified in MENTAL HEALTH FIRST AID (MHFA-UK) 2 day training. I also began volunteering as a mental health advocate with BRISTOL MIND, after an intensive 10 week training. (Bristol, June 2018)
5 Day training with Youth Mindfulness, offering a 16-class curriculum to mindfulness, for ages 8-16 years old. (London, October 2017)
A weekend Facilitation with Journey-Man-UK offering an emotional maturity initiation for boys ages 13-18 years old (Stroud, October 2017)
5 Day Fooling & Drama Therapy Workshop with Holly Stoppitt (Bristol, June 2017)
2 day Journeyman IMT (Inner Mentor Training) - for mentoring teenage boys (Bristol, 24th February, 2017)
2-Day Clowning Workshop with Holly Stoppitt (Bristol, May 2016)
8 Week Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Course with Mindfulness4All (Bristol , May 2016)
Trained to Teach Mindfulness in Schools .B Programme with MISP, for 11-18 year olds (2 days, Bristol, April 2015)
Began teaching and organising Blue Monday; gender neutral and leader fluid partner dancing (Bristol, July 2015-2020)
Participant in 5 days Vipassana Meditation training at Dhamma Dipa Vipassana Meditation Centre (Hereford, January 2015) See the blog here. And again in 2025 (blog)
Certificate in 6-week Non-Violent Communication with Seeds of Peace (Bristol,2015)
2-day Coaching Training from the Coaching Academy (Bristol, February 2015)
Certificate in Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction MBSR training, from Palouse Mindfulness (modelled on the Jon Kabat-Zinn course at the University of Massachusetts )(March 2015)
Certificate in Positive Meditation through completion of Level 1 and Level 2 tuition (over 3 years) with Positive Meditation , with Mark Dunn, (Bristol, 2013-2016)
Certificate in 6 weeks Positive psychology practical training with The Happiness Project (Lightbox) (Bristol, July 2014)
Founding of Bristol Meditation Group, offering lunchtime guided group meditations. Now based in Breathe Bristol. (Bristol, June 2014)
Participant in Somatic Movement Foundation training with Embodied Presence, Bristol (Bristol, May-September 2013)
Participant in Level 1, 2, 3 and 4 tuition with Sacred Pleasures personal transformation workshops in London and Wales, including Shadow Healing
(London, 2013-16)Participant in Mankind Project emotional shadow work with New Warrior Training, (Dublin, July 2014) and Personal Integration Training (Frome, March 2015) (Ongoing involvement in the MKP through i-group facilitation)
Participant in relationship and Tantric training with Jan Day, Bristol and Tara Yoga Centre, London, Bristol and Osho Leela (2013-14)
