More about Caring Kink

​The work of Kink includes BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, Masochism) which is a lot of big scary words, I know. My mission is to remove the stigma and fear from these wonderful, playful and innocent practices and help people discover the benefits of a safe space to explore our shadows, edges and innocent playful desires.

Within the workshop we will always begin with meeting ourselves and each other, to settle our nervous systems and feel connected and safe. We will then work on knowing our 'no' and getting our clear consent practices in place. This is embodied work and my aim is to help people experience their bodies in the moment, so they know what they need and how to communicate it. I work hard to make a space where participants also feel enabled to communicate their needs. This is one of my strengths as a facilitator. I understand the importance and the challenge of this.

Once safety is established we can enjoy the joy of kinky play - things like impact play, rope play, breath play and dominance and submission. These activities we do in cooperation, stepping into and out of roles, but interlacing it all with CARE. We bring in care during everything we do, so that we can feel held and empowered even when we are engaging in acts of surrender.

Caring Kink principles:

• C: Check in: at the start and throughout using pauses, squeezes and close attention. Aftercare includes check-ins too, and extends to the day or week after. Aftercare is for both partners.

• A: Accidents happen: Roll with them. We treat mistakes as opportunities for connection and love, instead of blame and shame. This is a practice of:

• R: Reconnect: Connection is the focus. When we notice we lose presence due to performance anxiety or something similar we slow down and pause and reconnect, following play, pleasure and love.

• E: Encouraging each others truth: We encourage a clear 'no' by asking for it up front, and celebrating someone / ourselves when it's given. When someone expresses desires we celebrate them, even if it's not our cup of tea - never yucking someone else's yum's

I create sensual, (non sexual) spaces for exploration of these CARE principles. However we are working with sexual energy and workshops will have differing boundaries on nudity and allowed interactions. Please read/ watch the testimonials and let me know if you have any questions.

"It felt safe and contained, all of Neil's teachings were clear and useful, the activities were fun, and there was a good balance between feeling safe and comfortable while also exploring slightly outside comfort zones. The space was lovely, the people were lovely, the music was lovely. More Workshops Please!" - Grace

I have 5 key workshops, that give a full CARIING KINK CURRICULUTM. Below I highlight the focus of each workshop:

1. Pain and Pleasure: A focus on the SM of BDSM, with less emphasis on power play, but working in cooperation to explore:

• Sensation Play

• Psychology and Physically interconnections

• Spanking exploration

• Hair pulling, Biting

• Primal Play

2. Teasing and Tantalizing: A focus on DS and SM aspects, building connection through anticipation and presence.

• Erogenous Zone Mapping

• Wax Play

• Feathers

• Begging play

3. Power Play of 'Dom and Sub': A focus on DS elements specifically allows a deepening of polarity play.

• Energetics of dominance and submission

• Using eyes, words and touch

• Breath Play

• Role Play including pet / slave

4. Tying and Holding: A focus on BD and DS elements, with an emphasis on connection instead of technical ropework.

• Basic 'One Rope' Technique

• Focus on Connection, Relaxation and Sensual Play

• Ribbon Play: Giving and receiving gifts

• Holding and aftercare

5. Worship Me! (Receive Punishment or Reward): Focusing on Discipline and DS dynamics is, for me, enlivening and can build deep connection and reverence, alongside playfulness and surrender.

• Getting into the mindset of worshiper and worshiped

• Foot worship

• Explore roles/dynamics of slave/mater or goddess/god and devotee.

• Worship, Punishment and Reward

6. Transforming Shame into Sexy!: To be liberated from our shame is to share and play with it. By exploring edgy degradation or humiliation acts we can find so much joy and pleasure in the play and so much connection. This could include:

• Selling ourselves and letting ourselves be big and flamboyant

• Expressing our little selves and being coddled and looked after

• Different shame edges based on gender conditioning. Eg for men it may be emasculation / sissy play or for women it could be sl*tting about or removing the beauty mask.

• Clothed and unclothed play ​- it can be very erotic to have one person clothed and the other nearly naked.

Neil’s workshop created a uniquely relaxed space for me to feel safe in exploring new aspects of my sexuality. The combination of playfulness and taking it seriously as a practice where people have to be both vulnerable and brave was exactly what I needed as a beginner kinkster. - Ruth